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Why am I so Angry?


I had my blog all planned out, I was going to talk about the negative emotion anger(which is a manifestation of emotional baggage) and its effects on an individual.Then I saw a movie that touched me to my core and shined the spotlight on the timeless issue of domestic violence. I knew I had to revise my blog.

The show was gritty and detailed the experience of a young R&B singer, who was constantly victimized and abused by two of the biggest rap moguls of that time. Initially, I thought why do I need to see another movie about violence? I have witnessed and experienced enough already! However, I was still drawn to it. This  movie brought back emotions I thought was long gone, emotions that I thought I had fully gotten over. I cried with her and I angrily shouted at the abusers, how dare they? Who gave them the right to put their hands on her? To punch her, to slap her, to kick her?  I said if it was me, that would be the last hit they would ever give me! After watching the movie, I reflected on my past relationships and I realized that I still had some emotional baggage. Why was I so angry? Why was I crying? It felt like I was relieving some of my past experiences.Wow. That was an epiphany!

I  still had remnants of anger. I was angry about my past relationships and the abuse I suffered at the hands of men who I trusted.I was angry that I had allowed them to do this to me. I was angry that I trusted people who never meant me well, who betrayed me and further eroded my trust in people. The hurt was real.

Most importantly, I realized that I had not fully healed from some of those betrayals. Sometimes you think that you are over a situation and you realize that you are not, which is not an easy revelation to deal with. However, once you realize that you are carrying emotional baggage, there are steps that you can take to get rid of this baggage.

Anger can poison your soul, the very core of your being. It can affect your life and how you interact with your friends,  your family, as well as your partner. It can affect your sleep, your mind and your body. This powerful emotion can cause so much stress, that you can start to actually feel sick in your body.

No one wants to admit that they messed up, that they made a mistake.However, we need to learn to forgive ourselves and let go of the anger. Some people continue to use anger to cushion them from the outside world,as they feel that letting go of anger ,will make them more vulnerable to being taken advantage of and/or abused. They are afraid that other people will see their brokenness, but this type of thinking is toxic to their soul and will cripple them with bitterness. The reality is that most of us deal with some form of emotional baggage,some more than others. The question is, how do you effectively get rid of emotional baggage?

  1. You have to first recognize that you have problem. Listen to your close friends and family. They are usually the ones who first recognize that you do have a problem with emotional baggage, in this case anger issues.

  2. Be willing to get the help you need… Whether it is counseling by a pastor or a psychologist.

  3. Pray for guidance and trust in God’s word Proverbs 3: 5-6 says: 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct[a] your paths.

  4. Be willing to take the necessary steps and implement the necessary solutions to get rid of your emotional baggage.

  5. Stay away from situations, which would trigger this emotion (anger).

You might have taken these steps, but you realize that you are still struggling with getting rid of your emotional baggage. Be honest with yourself, do not try to ignore the signs, repeat  steps 2-5, trust the process and eventually you will start to see a breakthrough. I pray that God grants you the desires of your heart and that you will eliminate emotional baggage out of your life and your relationships.

Tameka A. Williams

Copyright 2016. All Rights Reserved.

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